It occurred to me on a recent yesterday that the Universe is trying to send me a message.
"Slow down," She says gently.
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| Cairn, Grand Staircase Escalante, 2018. |
This is a hard message to hear as a farmer (of diverse directions), as a mother of a 4 year old, lover of lists and multi-tasking, a chronic "over-projector" who routinely falls into "speed farming."
A couple weeks ago I was barefoot at the park, being present, with Leo and I ended up with a piece of glass in my foot, which only was removed after 10 days. Working with the drawing action of plantain, and the care of my husband, it finally came out. A few days after I was moving like normal again I jammed my foot hard and my middle toe turned into a little purple sausage. It's healing, slowly.
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| Stump, Grand Staircase Escalante, 2018. |
A couple months ago, in seeking some baseline data for myself as I age, I discovered thyroid and hormone imbalances. While I continue to learn about these imbalances, and how to work with them, it has become clear that stress management needs to play a larger role in our lives - in our farming. Our bodies know how to heal, if we don't get in the way, but we have to head these cues.
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| Aged tree, Grand Staircase Escalante, 2018. |
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Then I start seeing this messaging about slowing down...and circle back to the stress management. The Universe reinforcing my intuition. The Universe has our backs, if we are willing to listen.
I have little doubt that stress has played a part in my imbalances. Our work, with the farm is stressful. I think 12 years in, we are getting better at managing it, but at difference seasons it can be a challenge.
Having another kiddo has helped - as kids do (or should), they instinctually ask you to slow down. We're also just better at calling it quits earlier in the day, or just saying f*ck it, let's go canoeing.
But there's always quite a list to get done.
BUT there is always going to be a list to get done.
Feel that?
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One of my mantras this Summer has been, "I'm getting it all done, one thing at a time." Our (mostly) weekly farm meetings have been a positive addition to our routine; it gives us space to meal plan and reflect on our flow of progress and accomplishments, alongside our list of to-do. Taking a little time to write, another tug from the Universe, has been nice as well.
Despite this mantra I know I can't do it all, but I'll work my hardest and get ALL done what I'm meant to.
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“I do know how to pay attention, how to fall downinto the grass, how to kneel in the grass,how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,which is what I have been doing all day.Tell me, what else should I have done?Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?Tell me, what is it you plan to doWith your one wild and precious life?”
Excerpt from The Summer Day, by Mary Oliver
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from there flowed The Slow Down (part 2)
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P.S. I don't share these parts of my life to call to pity our hard work, or this current health challenge, I share because I feel the resonance with words other people need to hear to free up something in their own lives. It's hard to explain. I share to create more opening and connection within our communities. To perhaps call to a different way of thinking beyond how our culture tells to think. And because it's important to see the reality behind what goes into our food system, for reals. Thanks for being here. Keep livin' it up.
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“I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass..." |
